Before replying: making room for other people
Some conversations seem to produce an answer before the question is finished: a notification, an impatient gesture, a sentence waiting to be delivered. This column suggests looking at that moment without treating every distraction as a failure or adding another duty to the day.
Our starting point is “Il coraggio di essere presenti in un’epoca che ci vuole assenti”, an article by Patrizio Paoletti published on June 16, 2026.[2] Paoletti focuses on self-awareness and the interval between a stimulus and a response, contrasting presence with automatic reactions.[2] This is the author’s perspective, not a clinical conclusion that this column claims to establish.
**Our own editorial reflection begins here, separate from Paoletti’s text.** Attention can also be understood as a form of hospitality. When somebody speaks to us, the space we offer is not only physical: it is the time we choose not to fill with ourselves. In this reading, being present does not mean always being calm or available. It means asking whether we are listening to another person or preparing our reply.
A small everyday experiment, offered here as observation rather than therapy, might involve a single conversation. Put the screen out of sight, where possible. Let the other person finish. Before offering advice, ask: “Would you like practical help, or would you prefer me to listen?” There is no target to meet and no score to award yourself. The point is to notice what happens, including impatience.
There is also a boundary worth protecting. Listening does not mean absorbing every request. “I cannot give this my attention right now; could we talk later?” may be more respectful than a distracted yes. Presence should not become another reason to ask exhausted people to give more.
Wellbeing, as we choose to discuss it here, is not an inner performance. It can include permission to be unfinished and, when possible, to return to a simple gesture: making room for what someone else is saying. This suggestion carries no promise of treatment or symptom relief; anyone experiencing persistent distress can seek a qualified professional.
The direct link to the original Italian article appears below. The reflection and suggested experiment are the editorial team’s own, not statements made by Paoletti.
## Sources
[2] https://patriziopaoletti.it/consapevolezza-di-se-essere-presenti